Hail, traveler! It is indeed good to see you again, though I must admit that I almost forgot that it was time for us to meet; it is a bit of good fortune that allowed me to reach you in time for our rendezvous. You see, I have been incredibly busy tending to the womanly needs of my harem of beautiful women, who long for my gentle touch and who hang upon my every word with passionate attentiveness. *ahem* Or perhaps I was locked in a dungeon deep in the mountains of Kaedwen. I cannot be asked to remember each small detail of my life, can I?.

On to the topic at hand. To the witless commoner, The Trial of the Grasses may sound quite enjoyable – I know that in my time I have come across a number of grass types that really expanded my mind and lulled me into a quiet sense of relaxation. To some, the Trial of the Grasses might be a horticultural quiz of sorts. Or a process to measure the fertility of soil for the coming harvest. Surely each of those would be more enjoyable than the actual Test of the Grasses, which is one of the daunting tasks prospective witchers must undergo to reach their monster-killing peak form. Each of these trials is performed at the secret home of the witchers, the mountain fortress of Kaer Morhen.

Kaer Morhen is but a shadow of what it once was. It once produced numerous witchers during troubling times, when unsavory beasts attacked unsuspecting townspeople regularly and the need for a trained monster-killer was high. Since the famed pogrom of non-humans years ago, however, Kaer Morhen has become a wasteland. None but proud old Vesemir have remained at the keep, with the few living witchers only occasionally returning to their childhood home. Had I been subjected to the trials and experiments they underwent, I’m not sure I would be keen to return either!

The Trial of the Grasses was one of three rigorous and exceptionally dangerous trials forced upon witchers-in-training. You must understand: becoming a witcher is no small matter; it involves extensive physical and mental mutations, and leads more often to death than a rewarding career in monster slaying. Acceptance of the witcher’s life – the first trial, known commonly as The Choice – meant acceptance of its lifestyle and diet – there would be no roast pig or pheasant here, delicious meals replaced by hazardous mushrooms, herbs and other not-so-delicious treats. It also meant that the student would devote their coming years to rigorous battle training and study in monster lore and herbology… and of course, more trials that were sure to endanger their lives.

Only four of the ten prospective witchers would pass the Trial of the Grasses. Success – rather, survival – would lead to the development of exceptional reflexes. Ingesting dangerously poisonous plants, you see, is not advisable. Unless one intends to develop resistances to them, of course, or if one hopes undergo the previously mentioned mutations. The last of the witcher trials was the Trial of the Mountains, which could also be mistaken for an enjoyable alpine hike if that hike involved the total mutation of one’s eyes and the excruciating alteration of one’s bone marrow. Death once again became a threat to developing witchers during this trial, but those who completed it would be well on their way to killing giant spiders for money.

It goes without saying that Geralt passed these trials with flying colours, and he was rewarded handsomely… with more experiments, of course! That’s what makes him the most skilled witcher of all, the envy of other witchers and the bane of monsters across the land.

Kaer Morhen is still standing. It still holds the secrets of the witchers. I’ve heard that Vesemir has even taken a new student under his wing. Could Kaer Morhen return to its former glory? Again, that’s a tale for another day.